How to avoid your beloved colleague demands...

Dear Mr Replic antes

I have a colleague in the office, which I am very fond of. Well in fact, I am fond of many people, because I am this kind of person, open, helpful, always at their disposal.

So what happens is that I normally lend them things, help them, make special efforts involving my family to do something for them....and at the end of the day, when I need some help, well, I try to make it by myself or if I ask them they're not free as they have some engagement, so then I feel a little like a full complete idiot, for being so friendly. What Am I to do, because if I check my friends, in fact there is nobody who could be maintained as friend, and on the other hand, the persons who could deserve are so independent that they dont need me. What should I do?
Well the other day he asked me a special favour, really one which involved effort and sacrifice, and offered to pay me very little for it. What should I do?

Dear Mr Helpful,

Your problem is that of many people. You think you are in this world for helping the others, and assume that by this fact, other people will also help you or at least the "chain of favours" (which is only seen on films) will help the community and so reach you in any way at the end of all. Well this is not actually the truth, and at the end of the day, what happens is that everybody is doing what's best for themselves.

I dont want you to close in a single cage without communication to others, but I think that you should improve the self-importance which u give to your time and also to your actions. People simply dont apreciate you being helpful, because they will take it as you being a slave or some kind of servant. Well it is really much better that you take that free time and you use it for gayolas-self-satisfaction or else what you think is better. The relation with you colleagues will get surely worse as they more and more ask you those favours and pay you with the rests of their food. And you will give them first quality material and will receive only what's for rubbish. Well you can see you're not on the right track.

You can do one thing, if you are asked for favours, just tell them you are busy. You are always busy for those favours. And stop offering anything which you really care about. On the other hand, give yourself a little more self-caring and find some kind of occupation so you dont need even to talk to them.

Because finally you will get deceived, as you will expect them to help you when there is strike or so, and you are not in the office, and they will not call you to tell you that everybody is in the office. That's an example, there are others.

cares! Replic.